Broken Hearts in Quarantine #FindYourTribe
Hi there everybody I’m Maggie O’Connor at Breakthrough MFT helping you reach your breakthrough moment.
What happens to a broken heart in quarantine? I’ll tell you, it breaks.
Like a falling tree thunders when it crashes to the ground, whether anyone is there to hear it – it breaks.
But a broken heart needs witnesses.
WE need witnesses.
To feel seen and heard by others to validate that our experience is worthy, or it’s even happening at all.
And in quarantine, those opportunities for witnessing are fewer, and further between.
But here’s the good news – though the opportunities may be fewer, they have potential to go deeper. Your witnesses, your friends and family – are more available and less distracted.
Also a side benefit is that everyone in the world right now is grieving a loss, at least of control and freedom – they are going through something ‘with’ you, or at least at the same time.
Also on the down side is that you have fewer opportunities to distract yourself from the pain of your loss – which is how we get relief from the intensity, and part of how you’ll eventually come out of it. Going to work, or a party even though you don’t feel like it, rebound dating or whatever – we don’t have it available.
So we are left with ourselves. And the body wants to do its work. The body wants the grief to move through, and discharge it.
And so, you can take the opportunity to become your own witness – to become curious about the parts of you that chose to be with someone who wasn’t right for you, or who would hurt you so bad.
It helps to acknowledge what was so good about the relationship and recognize what was important about that for you, what it ‘fed’ in you. Name it, and you know what you need more of in your life.
You may need to create your own distractions, especially if you’re not living with other people – kids and homeschooling can get you out of your head as much as going for a run, doing a puzzle or learning a new skill.
Broken hearts need witnesses; whether from outside or inside of you.
I’m Maggie O’Connor, hoping this helps you to break on through.