Crisis Mode Explained… and Contained

Hi Everybody, I’m Maggie O’Connor at BreakthroughMFT, helping you reach your Breakthrough Moment.

My last post talked about how we really can only live in crisis mode for two weeks, and I understand that you might say things like, ‘well I LIVE in crisis mode’ or I’ve been living in crisis mode for the past three years. I say to you – No. You’d be dead.

Here’s the difference between living with a crisis and living in crisis mode. And we’re all learning that right now.

In ‘crisis mode’, there’s a singular focus. It’s like an extended fight or flight. All your time and energy is focused on this one thing. Your cortisol and adrenaline levels rise and your entire amazing body is working just to get you through this one thing.

You ‘lose track of time’ because your awareness of everything outside of that area of focus is severely diminished.

But we can only go like that for so long – it’s about two weeks on average.

When the crisis continues anyway, you need to find a more sustainable way of being. This may have been signaled for you recently by an emotional breakdown – and you make total sense to me! That’s your body letting you know that you can’t keep going like this.

If you’ve ever had a loved one with a chronic illness, you might be familiar with this dynamic of needing to figure out a way of being that lets you work, play and have some semblance of a life outside of treatment and caring for them, so that you can sustain.

Right now, coronavirus is creating an environment your body is struggling to handle. Why wouldn’t you feel stressed?

We need to find a way out of the crisisSelf- care is how we pull ourselves out of crisis mode, how we create new energy for ourselves so that we can handle when we do need to be stressted.

Give your body some space to recover – feed yourself with structure to feel predictability, with exercise to sheathe your nerves against stress, with laughter and fun and creativity to feed your mind and heart. Get the comic relief, whatever you need to sustain yourself through this.

SEE PEOPLE you care about on FaceTime, Zoom or whatever you use to maintain that cornerstone of sanity only our relationships can hold.

Some days will take more out of you than you can put in; and that’s okay. So go ahead and give yourself that ugly cry, forgive yourself and ask forgiveness for your irritation and frustration. Remember you are only one person and you are doing the best you can. Find your tribe and lean on them. It’s the only way we get through.

Stay safe. Be well.

I’m Maggie O’Connor at Breakthrough MFT, hoping this helps you to break on through.

Sustaining through Crisis – #FindYourTribe

Hi everybody, I’m Maggie O’Connor at Breakthrough MFT, helping you reach your ‘breakthrough moment.’

Where are you with your ‘crisis mode’? Have you had the ugly cry yet? Have you lost it on your partner or children or the jar of jelly YET?

I say ‘yet’ because time is UP for crisis mode – we first started social spacing in NY about 2 weeks ago. Remember? Feels like a millin years ago!

At the time, people were really focused on how to manage all of the aspects of a suddenly volatile world by arranging schedules and child care figuring out family situations. We were also buying up all the toilet paper at the store…

Our priorities shifted suddenly and sometimes what came out as most important was surprising; but there it was.

But then something happened. All of a sudden the wheels came off! Collectively it seems, we all had our breakdown. We all had the sense of

I can’t…
Keep going.
Like this.

And you’re right. Our body only has a a limited amount of time it can sustain in ‘crisis mode’ before it really breaks down. I’ve most often heard it put at 2 weeks before the collapse. And guess where we are in NY? At about 2 weeks of ‘social spacing’

So… you can’t keep going in crisis mode, but how do we live through the ongoing crisis which seems to have no clear before and after?
That’s where self care comes in – that’s where we talk about taking it one day at a time.

There will always be room for bad news and grief; the hard stuff about this. Self care is a way of taking yourself out of that, and remembering that we’re people.

We’re talking about structuring; having a schedule, getting dressed and bathed even if you’re not working right now or all your conference calls are audio only. Get exercise. Get outside.

Keep making those FaceTime calls – our relationships are the cornerstone of our sanity. We need our tribe now more than ever.

It means consciously seeking what makes you laugh or reminds you of the joy and beauty of life. There are a ton of free resources online to see Broadway shows, opera, live concerts.

Art & creativity will make us feel truly make you free, even in quarantine.

What you put in front of you is what you reflect back out into the world, and how we get a nice positive cycle going.

Sure there’s still room for the tough stuff; I’m not saying to look away from it, but I am saying to look toward the things that feed you to get you through the longer term of this crisis.

I’m Maggie O’Connor wishing you good health and safety, and hoping this helps you to break on through.